The Impact of the Example of Forgiveness

Tonight, I was reading through 1 John mostly by chance. The one theme that really caught my heart today, and normally does catch my heart when reading this book, is that true Christians love their brothers and sisters in the faith.

"If anyone claims, 'I am living in the light,' but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is still living in darkness." 1 John 2:9 NLT

That just always talks about grudges to me. A few years ago, I really struggled with grudges. I had a lot of friends, didn't have any enemies (which is no small feat in high school.) But I had a hard time forgiving the few people that hurt me.

I held it in, and when I thought about what they did or how they treated me, it made me angry. I tried to keep it in, so rarely would I confront those people about their supposed wrongs. But it did seep out. Those people could tell something was different between us, which made it worse, we excluded each other from things and generally disintegrated our friendships.

In one particular occasion, it got to the point that I didn't even know what one person had done to me. Why we were fighting, and why I was so mad at them and waiting for an apology. Eventually, God convicted me that I was holding these grudges. One of the best messages I have heard, from various sources is that forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you.

Forgiveness is not for that person that hurt you. You can hold a grudge, it will tear you apart, but that person will keep on living life. Waiting for them to say "I'm sorry" could be a long long time. If that anger festers in your heart, it will just burn you, not the other person.

So let go of it. Forgive that person. Let go of the anger. Let go of the thought of revenge. Let go of the thought that that person owes you something. Let go, move on. Lift that weight off of yourself. Go to God, ask for strength.

Eventually, I was able to do just that. Forgive those people of what they did to me. It took some time, and those relationships aren't the same as they were before, but I have been able to re forge those friendships and make matters a lot better between myself and these people. One instance, I even apologized to the other person for holding a grudge against them. They were shocked, but it went a long way to restoring our friendship. I tell you what, it is a lot better on the other side, and in the years since, my heart feels lighter.

I think I have blogged about that in the past, so what I really wanted to share was in verse 10.

"Anyone who loves another brother or sister is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble." 1 John 2:10 NLT

God is saying that loving others is what shows that you are close to Him. More than that, your grudges aren't between just you and the person who hurt you, you are an example for other believers.

If you refuse to forgive someone, that can cause others to stumble. They may hold grudges too. Think of the impact it would cause, if a chain of people rejected forgiveness. There would be anger and bitterness in everyone's heart. There would be certain people you couldn't bring up around other people, there would be lives changed for the worse.

However, if you set an example and forgive those who have hurt you, who have wronged you, it may convince others to do the same. Those people will then experience the joy that comes from forgiveness and salvaged relationships.

We owe each other forgiveness. We have committed far greater trespasses against God than anyone has against us, yet God forgave us. Who are we to say that we can't forgive?

It is because of forgiveness that we are saved. It is because of forgiveness that we can live in love, joy, and relationship with God.

Forgiveness is central to who we are as people. It is a big idea, with big implications.

If we forgive each other, lives will be changed in the same way that God's forgiveness towards us has already changed our lives.