Talking It Out

A friend of mine pointed out some scripture she was reading, it sounded like it had really grabbed a hold of her heart, so I read it over tonight.

The passage was Ephesians 4, Paul is writing to the church at Ephesus and basically telling them what's up.

He starts right off the bat telling us how to act with each other, always be humble, patient and gentle, bind yourselves together with peace, overlook each others faults with love.

That struck a chord right away. I don't know about you, but if you hang around a church or a ministry long enough, you will see relationships ruined by it. If you hang around really long, it can make you question if there is a way to do ministry with people without eventually destroying your relationship with them.

Paul tells us how to do it right here. He basically says to put yourself to the side. Be gentle, humble, patient. Don't get heated with the people you are doing life with. Work with them and their faults, overlook their faults with love, because that is what Christ did with us.

Paul is the man at bringing everything back to Christ.

He tells us its simple, not easy, but simple, if we constantly focus on Christ and try to emulate Him in everything we do, we won't have relationship problems.

The only reason that doesn't work is that pride, anger, jealousy, and frustration get in the way. It is a lot easier to tear someone down and blame them for bringing down your ministry than to listen to what Paul says in the next paragraph and build up leaders.

Paul keeps referring to unity in the body, telling us that we need to speak truth in love, like Christ, and depend on each other, help each other grow, and the body will benefit.

The Bible tells us how to confront people without causing a quarrel. This half of the chapter is a guideline to me for handling how you talk to people, whether it be at work, church, or school.

Paul tells us to first be humble and gentle. Meaning don't come in arrogant and hostile, thinking your idea is the only idea, you have the best solution and everyone should agree with you. You're just going to come across as a jerk. Be humble and gentle, listen to others, take in their point of view.

He next says to overlook each others faults out of love, because that is what Christ did for us. We don't need to point out every little thing that irritates you about a person. There are times when people need to be confronted, but the Bible says to "Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binging yourselves together with peace." Eph. 4:3

That sounds to me like you shouldn't rock the boat unless you really really have to. Strive to keep the peace, and overlooking some faults with love is how we do that.

Finally, it says that we need to work together. We are dependent on each other. No one can do everything perfectly, we need each other to maximize our potential. We have to depend on the other parts of the body.

That takes a lot as well. Sometimes that means you have to step aside, out of the limelight, and let someone who is better than you perform some duty. I know that can be hard. But how are we supposed to work together so well?

Paul says we have to remember that Christ is the head of the church. He is also the head of our lives. If we can look to Him, and remember what he did for us, remember that we are brothers and sisters of Christ, we're all on the same team, it should make it a little easier for us to work together.

This way, in verse 16 it says, "As each part does its own work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love."

Remember love, guys.

If you approach people with humility and love, those tough conversations will go a lot smoother.