Separation

Today is one of those days where I feel like my prayers are hitting the ceiling. Like I can't get through to God. My mind won't focus, I have to fight distractions and discouragement. There is no major crisis or disaster I am dealing with, something just isn't right.

I think days like this are caused by disobedience. When I finally realize that something is wrong, something is different, hopefully it gets through to me that something needs to be fixed.

Times like this, I'm forced to think back through the last day or two. I have to check my actions, my pride, and my motives. I'm not sure if this is how it works in your life, but this is how it goes in mine.

My disobedience is sin. The ironic thing is God is just giving me what I thought I wanted. When we sin, we are declaring our independence from God. Most times "independence" is seen as a good thing, in this case it is not. We are saying we don't need to depend on God. I got it, I'm good, thanks for the help, I'll take it from here God. It is a dumb move, but when we sin that is what we do. God loves us and wants us to have our best life, we disagree, we think we know what's best, we declare it with sin, and are basically saying we know better than God.

So I think these nights when I feel distant from God are a result of previous sin. God is saying you wanted to be out on your own, here is a little taste. I know He would never let me go, the Bible says He never loses one of His flock.

Sin gets into our hearts, it hardens our hearts from God. In Philippians, Paul says we should have tender hearts like Christ. Sin does the opposite. It hardens our hearts, pulls us from God, makes us more defensive to His message and His call. That is why it is so hard for people far from God to come to Him.

So what do we do? We have to give it all up to Him. Repent, confess, apologize, whatever you want to call it. We have to go back to Christ. Make things right, ask for His boundless grace, and as Paul says, REJOICE when He forgives us!