thoughts running through my head

i can't sleep tonight.

shannon visited this weekend, she left this afternoon. those are always the hardest days. long distance relationships are hard, i can't say otherwise. i feel like i get updates on her life throughout the day, not like i'm doing life with her.

i have this drifting feeling today, kind of empty, almost anchor-less. probably from being sad about shannon leaving.

there is always a chance for joy, and when these days come, and i actually remember to go to God, i always feel closer to Him than before.

so in a way these days are good.

i'm in awe about how much life experiences teach you about yourself, God, and faith. i feel like new ways to connect to Christ are opened every day if you are willing to look.

this day has seemed hectic and sad, but since i quit trying to sleep, i feel peaceful and happier.

i'm not sure this post has a point, but i'm also not sure that's a bad thing.

i was reminded again today, the direct link between consistency in my quiet time and how that leads to good things happening. why don't i put the ball in God's hands more?

i'm also pretty sure people busier with jobs and stuff don't have this much time to think. again, i don't know if thats such a good thing.

i like to think a lot of people think about the same problems and dilemmas as i do, but just don't post it on the internet.

i'm constantly impatient when it comes to waiting for God's plans to be revealed, and to wait on His perfect timing.

i believe that true humility is hard to grasp and that my search for it falls short for different reasons all because i don't depend on God enough to achieve it. the danger is that i think pride is the root of every other sin.

i've been thinking a lot about influence lately, how i've been shaped, and how i can shape other people positively.

i want to help someone, even when i did today, it turned into personal pride. i long to be a servant God will use to glorify His name through, yet i worry i'll try to steal the thunder.

i'm truly falling in love with the consistent peace in my heart, only experienced through saving grace.

i think this post is, once again, more for me than anyone else, but i thank you who give me some of your time and read it.