A New Heart

I'm currently reading through a book entitled "He Restores My Soul" by Jennifer Kennedy Dean. These are some of my reflections.

This week's journey did a good job of leading me into growth. It started off and convinced me that I am in need of a new heart. More importantly, I think that God wants to give me a new heart, a heart for Him and His word, a heart for a new covenant. A covenant of grace and worship, not actions and law. This new heart means a new life, a life lived for Christ. The book spoke of Christ's life surging through me in an image I've never thought of before. It led me to picture a heart of golden light in my chest, regenerating the sinful body it was in. Bringing light into the darkness of my soul and soon having that light emanate out from me.

The description of callousness ruined me. It broke me. All I could think about was my own heart. I can feel how calloused and hardened it has been over the years. It was so much easier to obey and connect with God when I was younger. At times when I was sitting comfortably in the center of His will. I feel that over time I have continually chosen my self and my desires over Him, and slowly my heart has hardened. I can still hear His call to me, but it is easier to ignore now than ever.

Why do I do these things? I know that God knows me better than I know myself, but I refuse to submit to Him. I'm no better than Adam. I am rebellious in my heart, always going my own way, foolish to abandon the wisdom of the Lord. Even though I know these things, I struggle to obey.

The imagery later in the week encouraged me to great lengths. I felt even more refreshed as I pictured the blood of Jesus pumping through my veins and washing me clean like a dirty glass under a faucet of ever flowing clean water. The writer was prompt to remind me that God can root out any sin, and in my broken state I can still be made whole and clean again. What a wonderful truth! That God is the author of spiritual restoration and I can once again be close to Him.