It's Not My Fault

I was hanging out with some guys today and we were talking about the importance of accepting responsibility for your actions. That's what a REAL man does. One of the points was that we need to own up to our mistakes and simply say "I'm sorry" and "I was wrong."

One of the guys talked about how he was learning to say "I'm sorry" more. He even said that he was apologizing at times when he didn't think he was wrong.

This got me thinking. I think this is a huge life lesson that he mentioned when we were hanging out. How many times in our life do we refuse to accept responsiblity for mistakes? How many times in our life do we refuse to apologize to people because we think that they are wrong? We say, "I don't need to apologize, he needs to apologize."

There's a couple of important things to remember here. I know that many times in my life I look back on a past argument or spat where I thought I was in the right, and then I realize I still helped create the mess. Sure, maybe you didn't make the mistake that made you two come to blows, but I bet you didn't react perfectly, or say the perfect things. Normally there is something you contributed to the problem that you could own up to.

While that is true, the point that really got me thinking is about those times where you absolutely did not cause the problem. You are in a fight with someone and 100 out of 100 strangers would not blame you for the fight. If any outsider looked into the situation they would say you are right and he or she is wrong. The only problem with this is none of that matters. Not if the person you are arguing with thinks you are wrong.

When you are in this situation you are faced with a difficult choice. You can either grit your teeth and apologize to the person for hurting them, even though it was there fault. Or you can sit on your pride and refuse to reconcile.

Really, it is a choice between your own pride or this relationship.

Oh man, so often I choose my pride.

It doesn't make sense to me. So many times I wish I had swallowed my pride, apologized to a person, even though I didn't think I did anything wrong, and salvage that relationship.

It's just hard to do.

So my question to you, is who do you need to apologize to? Even if you think they are to blame, are you willing to swallow your pride, accept that blame, and salvage that relationship?