My mom always hated that saying: "Seasons of Life." She always thought that life didn't have seasons, it was just life. The older I get the more I understand that saying.
Being home for the summer, I'm beginning to realize that I'm moving on to a new "season." People that I used to be very close to have moved away, or we've simply grown apart. I used to be naive in thinking that I would always keep in touch with my close friends from high school, or all of my close friends at church, or the mentors or teachers that I knew.
I still try. But its a losing battle. People go on with their lives with or without you. There are no malicious reasons for the ending of those relationships, just life. We've drifted away.
Its pretty sad. I've learned that some of the people I thought I would always be close to, I haven't kept in touch with. Sure, we might meet up for lunch over summer once or twice, go back to school and that will be it. The cool thing is, I'm beginning to accept it.
My perspective has changed. Instead of mourning over the past, I'm embracing the present. I'm enjoying the good times I'm having now, with the people in my life, and knowing that it won't last forever. I remember hearing someone say once that the temporal nature of things, is what makes them beautiful. I'm finally understanding that.
These moments now will become memories. Sure, that sounds like a Kenny Chesney song, but there's some truth to it. I appreciate the people close to me right now. I remember my past friendships and good times I had very fondly. And I am accepting that we'll never get those times back again.
But you know what? There's no gap in my memories. At one time I was doing the things I am remembering now, and while those were happening, I had fond memories of a previous time.
I guess the point is to enjoy what is happening right now in your life. Don't get so caught up in what happened, or what is yet to happen. Enjoy your loved ones now. The people in your life who are here with you right now. People will always move, get involved in other things, drift away. Don't fight it. You can't stop it. It is bigger than you. Enjoy the people you are with now, and accept that they won't be here forever. Don't be sad. If they never left, these times would never be remembered.
In Weakness, There is Strength
Whenever I bump into someone on the street, or try to get a waiter’s attention at a restaurant, I normally start with “sorry.”
It’s a small word, but it causes a lot of controversy. Numerous times in my life I have had complete strangers tell me I shouldn’t say sorry, because people will think I did something wrong, people will blame me for things, and it is a sign of weakness.
What?
All because I said, “Sorry to interrupt, could I get a glass of water?”
To me, it’s the same thing as “excuse me” or “pardon.” But I choose to say "sorry."
There are people who live their life never saying sorry. They are consumed with being right, being without blame, and oozing strength.
While there is nothing inherently wrong with those things, they are dangerous ways to act. They can lead to inflated sense of self, and conceal low self-esteems and bruised egos.
Usually, the people who can’t say sorry are the weakest.
We all have weaknesses, and we have all heard the saying nobody’s perfect. However, for some reason, a lot of us are afraid to show other people that we’re not perfect. We cover up our shortcomings and hide our insecurities, hoping everyone will think we are strong, we are perfect.
Everyone knows you are not perfect. Weakness is not something to be ashamed of. In fact, the Bible talks a lot about the weak.
“I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will destroy. I will feed them in justice.” -Ezekiel 34:16 (NLT)
“We are fools for Christ’s sake, but you are wise in Christ. We are weak, but you are strong. You are held in honor, but we in disrepute.” -1 Corinthians 4:10
The Bible doesn’t talk about weakness as a bad thing; instead, the Bible states that there is something to gain in weakness. It is something everyone experiences.
When we are weak, Christ is strong. It is in our weakness that we can recognize Christ’s strength. Moreover, because of our weakness will Christ strengthen us.
We shouldn’t hide our weakness and insecurities with clothes, or cars, or muscle milk. We should unveil our weakness, so that Christ will strengthen us. Then we can actually do something. Instead of being weak, and talking about how strong we are, we should show our weakness, garner the true strength of Christ, and use that strength to help people.
“We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.” –Romans 15:1-2 (NLT)
“To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak.” -1 Corinthians 9:22
As I said, we are all weak. So what do we do when Christ strengthens us? We don’t flaunt our strength to make us feel good and feed our egos; we use that strength to build up our neighbors. We use our newfound strength to help the people around us.
When we puff out our chests and talk about how strong we are, we can’t connect with the weak. Paul said he became weak to win the weak. We should share our weakness; let people know that we have been there. That’s how you help people, you get on their level. You don’t rub it in their face that they’re weak and that you are strong. You share your similar story, you connect with them. You get down and help them up.
Our weakness helps us understand our problems, God’s strength, and other people. When we’ve hit rock bottom, we have to rely on the strength of God to bring us up. After that experience, we can turn and help others who are at rock bottom.
It’s like what Rocky said when describing why he loves Adrian, “I got gaps. She’s got gaps. We fill each other’s gaps.”
So just like Rocky and Adrian, God will fill our gaps.
Don’t be afraid to show your weaknesses. Let people know, that’s the only way they can help you. They have probably been there too. And when Christ strengthens you, you can turn around and help others who are right where you were.
So don’t be afraid of someone thinking you’re weak for saying “sorry.” That person is probably just afraid you will find out how weak they are.
It’s a small word, but it causes a lot of controversy. Numerous times in my life I have had complete strangers tell me I shouldn’t say sorry, because people will think I did something wrong, people will blame me for things, and it is a sign of weakness.
What?
All because I said, “Sorry to interrupt, could I get a glass of water?”
To me, it’s the same thing as “excuse me” or “pardon.” But I choose to say "sorry."
There are people who live their life never saying sorry. They are consumed with being right, being without blame, and oozing strength.
While there is nothing inherently wrong with those things, they are dangerous ways to act. They can lead to inflated sense of self, and conceal low self-esteems and bruised egos.
Usually, the people who can’t say sorry are the weakest.
We all have weaknesses, and we have all heard the saying nobody’s perfect. However, for some reason, a lot of us are afraid to show other people that we’re not perfect. We cover up our shortcomings and hide our insecurities, hoping everyone will think we are strong, we are perfect.
Everyone knows you are not perfect. Weakness is not something to be ashamed of. In fact, the Bible talks a lot about the weak.
“I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will destroy. I will feed them in justice.” -Ezekiel 34:16 (NLT)
“We are fools for Christ’s sake, but you are wise in Christ. We are weak, but you are strong. You are held in honor, but we in disrepute.” -1 Corinthians 4:10
The Bible doesn’t talk about weakness as a bad thing; instead, the Bible states that there is something to gain in weakness. It is something everyone experiences.
When we are weak, Christ is strong. It is in our weakness that we can recognize Christ’s strength. Moreover, because of our weakness will Christ strengthen us.
We shouldn’t hide our weakness and insecurities with clothes, or cars, or muscle milk. We should unveil our weakness, so that Christ will strengthen us. Then we can actually do something. Instead of being weak, and talking about how strong we are, we should show our weakness, garner the true strength of Christ, and use that strength to help people.
“We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.” –Romans 15:1-2 (NLT)
“To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak.” -1 Corinthians 9:22
As I said, we are all weak. So what do we do when Christ strengthens us? We don’t flaunt our strength to make us feel good and feed our egos; we use that strength to build up our neighbors. We use our newfound strength to help the people around us.
When we puff out our chests and talk about how strong we are, we can’t connect with the weak. Paul said he became weak to win the weak. We should share our weakness; let people know that we have been there. That’s how you help people, you get on their level. You don’t rub it in their face that they’re weak and that you are strong. You share your similar story, you connect with them. You get down and help them up.
Our weakness helps us understand our problems, God’s strength, and other people. When we’ve hit rock bottom, we have to rely on the strength of God to bring us up. After that experience, we can turn and help others who are at rock bottom.
It’s like what Rocky said when describing why he loves Adrian, “I got gaps. She’s got gaps. We fill each other’s gaps.”
So just like Rocky and Adrian, God will fill our gaps.
Don’t be afraid to show your weaknesses. Let people know, that’s the only way they can help you. They have probably been there too. And when Christ strengthens you, you can turn around and help others who are right where you were.
So don’t be afraid of someone thinking you’re weak for saying “sorry.” That person is probably just afraid you will find out how weak they are.
Its really none of my business.
Do you ever watch an old scary movie? One you have seen before. You watch the character push open the old creaky door, walk down the dark hallway. Tip toe across the floor... and BAM! The killer jumps out.
The whole time you're watching this happen you are screaming at the TV "Don't go down there! What are you doing? The killer is around the corner!"
But the person in the TV can't hear your warning. Sometimes people in our lives are doing the same thing, walking down a dangerous path, but we decide to stay quiet.
A few weeks ago, I was at church and Andy Stanley preached about judging people. The first week of the series he talked to Christians and talked about how it was wrong to judge people outside the church because they didn't agree to the same code of laws that we did. We are supposed to love on those people. I talked about something similar a few weeks ago in "Sinners Like Us."
Anyways, the next lesson was on judging people close to us. Are we supposed to judge anyone? How do we approach people? He then brought up the point that when we see someone doing something wrong and it elicits a response from us, check our motives, figure out what's in us that is causing us to react to someone else's behavior that way.
Finally, he talked about judging people we are close to. If someone we love is going down the wrong path and making a stupid choice, and we know it is a dumb choice, and we are confident that we are upset for the right reasons, it is our job to step in.
Basically, many of us stand behind the statement, "I don't want to judge." Or "I'll just stay out of that, they didn't ask me for my opinion." I'll just "love" on that person and let them go their own way. THAT'S NOT LOVE!
Sometimes love isn't easy, it is not always the warm and fuzzy support, just encouraging people and let them go along as they please. Sometimes love calls us to get involved with people, help them, and step in when they are doing something stupid.
It is a lot easier for us to just stand back when we see a friend making a poor life choice, ruining a relationship, pushing away a family member, than to step in and get messy in their life.
"If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back." -Matthew 18:15 NLT
Did you catch that first part? Some translations don't include "against you." If another believer sins, we are supposed to confront them.
Believe me, no one likes confrontation, I regularly avoid it at all cost. I don't like drama, I don't like to rock the boat, I like to be liked. The truth is, that is not always the Godly thing to do.
There are times when a fellow believer, someone we know and love, someone we are close to, is making a mistake, and we have two choices, step in, or watch it happen and say "I don't want to judge, I'm not here to make their decisions."
We have to step in. I know its not a warm and fuzzy lesson, "Just love people." Yes, just love people, but sometimes loving people means we confront those we love when they are making a stupid mistake.
This is weighing on my heart because I know this happens in my life all the time. I see someone doing something stupid, going down a path I've been down. I remember how much it hurt me and how I wished someone would have stopped me, but I don't do anything and say to myself, "It's none of my business."
It is my business. If it is someone I love and they are making a huge mistake, if I don't step in, who will?
As followers of Christ, we need to help each other, help other believers, help our family, don't judge those outside your circle of relationship, outside your influence. Don't run up to people on the street doing drugs and yell at them, that is not what Jesus is saying.
But those people in your circle of friends. Those people close to you, that you truly love, that you respect, that you don't want to make the same mistake you did, that is who you step in and deal with.
If one of your closest friends is destroying his family, talk to him!
If someone in your family is making a terrible decision, get messy, get in their lives, try to stop them!
Stop letting people ruin their lives around you while you just "stick to your own business."
You have a responsibility to help the ones you love, its not always easy, but if you don't help them, who will?
The whole time you're watching this happen you are screaming at the TV "Don't go down there! What are you doing? The killer is around the corner!"
But the person in the TV can't hear your warning. Sometimes people in our lives are doing the same thing, walking down a dangerous path, but we decide to stay quiet.
A few weeks ago, I was at church and Andy Stanley preached about judging people. The first week of the series he talked to Christians and talked about how it was wrong to judge people outside the church because they didn't agree to the same code of laws that we did. We are supposed to love on those people. I talked about something similar a few weeks ago in "Sinners Like Us."
Anyways, the next lesson was on judging people close to us. Are we supposed to judge anyone? How do we approach people? He then brought up the point that when we see someone doing something wrong and it elicits a response from us, check our motives, figure out what's in us that is causing us to react to someone else's behavior that way.
Finally, he talked about judging people we are close to. If someone we love is going down the wrong path and making a stupid choice, and we know it is a dumb choice, and we are confident that we are upset for the right reasons, it is our job to step in.
Basically, many of us stand behind the statement, "I don't want to judge." Or "I'll just stay out of that, they didn't ask me for my opinion." I'll just "love" on that person and let them go their own way. THAT'S NOT LOVE!
Sometimes love isn't easy, it is not always the warm and fuzzy support, just encouraging people and let them go along as they please. Sometimes love calls us to get involved with people, help them, and step in when they are doing something stupid.
It is a lot easier for us to just stand back when we see a friend making a poor life choice, ruining a relationship, pushing away a family member, than to step in and get messy in their life.
"If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back." -Matthew 18:15 NLT
Did you catch that first part? Some translations don't include "against you." If another believer sins, we are supposed to confront them.
Believe me, no one likes confrontation, I regularly avoid it at all cost. I don't like drama, I don't like to rock the boat, I like to be liked. The truth is, that is not always the Godly thing to do.
There are times when a fellow believer, someone we know and love, someone we are close to, is making a mistake, and we have two choices, step in, or watch it happen and say "I don't want to judge, I'm not here to make their decisions."
We have to step in. I know its not a warm and fuzzy lesson, "Just love people." Yes, just love people, but sometimes loving people means we confront those we love when they are making a stupid mistake.
This is weighing on my heart because I know this happens in my life all the time. I see someone doing something stupid, going down a path I've been down. I remember how much it hurt me and how I wished someone would have stopped me, but I don't do anything and say to myself, "It's none of my business."
It is my business. If it is someone I love and they are making a huge mistake, if I don't step in, who will?
As followers of Christ, we need to help each other, help other believers, help our family, don't judge those outside your circle of relationship, outside your influence. Don't run up to people on the street doing drugs and yell at them, that is not what Jesus is saying.
But those people in your circle of friends. Those people close to you, that you truly love, that you respect, that you don't want to make the same mistake you did, that is who you step in and deal with.
If one of your closest friends is destroying his family, talk to him!
If someone in your family is making a terrible decision, get messy, get in their lives, try to stop them!
Stop letting people ruin their lives around you while you just "stick to your own business."
You have a responsibility to help the ones you love, its not always easy, but if you don't help them, who will?
Quit Thinking Ahead
The future is looming. Are you planning for it? Do you have every step plotted out on your route to success?
People are consumed by their goals. They are driven beyond belief. Always pushing for the next level, the next promotion, the next goal. People know where they want to go, they know how they want to get there, and they know how long it should take them.
Everyone I talk to here at school tells me their master plan. They talk about things like finishing their degree in engineering, or biology, or English, then going to graduate school, medical school, or business school.
They have their life mapped out, every step of the way, how they think it should go. But they're missing where they are now. Look around you, look at the life you are living. Look at how blessed you are to be at school, your biggest worries are what books you have to read, or what you are going to do with your degree.
The point is, don't get too caught up in the future that you miss the present. Sure, it is great to have goals. We all have things we strive for, we want to reach the top of the mountain, but what happens if we get there and we're not fulfilled? We have nothing to cherish because we ran through the journey as fast as we could.
You are where you are right now for a reason. You are part of a bigger plan, and doing your part just by living your life to the best of your abilities right where you are. God has a purpose for you, and has led you to where you are. Make an impact, right here, right now, quit putting it off.
There are a lot of things to enjoy about your life right now. Search for them, recognize them, and cherish them. Things will change, for the better, maybe for the worse, but they won't be the same. Some things you love won't be here a year from now, you'll be somewhere else, people will move on to different things, there will be new things to cherish, just enjoy what you can about where you are. Slow down a little bit. By all means, work towards your goals, but don't get too bogged down with busyness that you miss all the great things going on around you.
Also, be flexible. The Bible talks over and over again about how we can make plans but the Lord will determine our steps. Things will change, your perfect plan might not work out the way you set it up, but that doesn't mean you failed, or its wrong. Be careful not to look at your plans as the only path for your life. Do not put your goals for the future above following God's will. Because when God places you somewhere you are supposed to be, somewhere where you are meant to do something amazing, you might miss it sulking over your lost plans.
Enjoy where you are and be open about all the possibilities God has for you in the future.
"'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope."- Jeremiah 29:11 (NASB)
People are consumed by their goals. They are driven beyond belief. Always pushing for the next level, the next promotion, the next goal. People know where they want to go, they know how they want to get there, and they know how long it should take them.
Everyone I talk to here at school tells me their master plan. They talk about things like finishing their degree in engineering, or biology, or English, then going to graduate school, medical school, or business school.
They have their life mapped out, every step of the way, how they think it should go. But they're missing where they are now. Look around you, look at the life you are living. Look at how blessed you are to be at school, your biggest worries are what books you have to read, or what you are going to do with your degree.
The point is, don't get too caught up in the future that you miss the present. Sure, it is great to have goals. We all have things we strive for, we want to reach the top of the mountain, but what happens if we get there and we're not fulfilled? We have nothing to cherish because we ran through the journey as fast as we could.
You are where you are right now for a reason. You are part of a bigger plan, and doing your part just by living your life to the best of your abilities right where you are. God has a purpose for you, and has led you to where you are. Make an impact, right here, right now, quit putting it off.
There are a lot of things to enjoy about your life right now. Search for them, recognize them, and cherish them. Things will change, for the better, maybe for the worse, but they won't be the same. Some things you love won't be here a year from now, you'll be somewhere else, people will move on to different things, there will be new things to cherish, just enjoy what you can about where you are. Slow down a little bit. By all means, work towards your goals, but don't get too bogged down with busyness that you miss all the great things going on around you.
Also, be flexible. The Bible talks over and over again about how we can make plans but the Lord will determine our steps. Things will change, your perfect plan might not work out the way you set it up, but that doesn't mean you failed, or its wrong. Be careful not to look at your plans as the only path for your life. Do not put your goals for the future above following God's will. Because when God places you somewhere you are supposed to be, somewhere where you are meant to do something amazing, you might miss it sulking over your lost plans.
Enjoy where you are and be open about all the possibilities God has for you in the future.
"'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope."- Jeremiah 29:11 (NASB)
We're Both Weak
You know your strengths and your weaknesses better than anybody. You know what you can handle and what you can't. There are some things that come easy to you, that are no big deal, and there are some things that are harder for others.
It is very easy to lose sight of the fact that some things are not a problem for you, but are HUGE obstacles for others.
Everyone remembers having a bad math teacher in middle school or high school. One that would put a problem up on the board, look at it for a minute, come up with the answer in their head, and write it down. Obviously, you couldn't do the same, and couldn't figure out how the teacher solved the problem. Then, they would give you an F when you couldn't figure out the same problem on the test. You would get mad at the teacher for not explaining the process, they would get mad at you for not grasping it.
Your teacher didn't understand that they were strong in an area, that you were weak in. They didn't realize learning that theory came much easier to them than you.
When we fail to realize that some things are harder or easier for others, we can end up labeling that person, or worse, hurting that person because of our lack of understanding.
Paul talks about this in 1 Corinthians:
"But you must be careful so that your freedom does not cause others with a weaker conscience to stumble." - 1 Corinthians 8:9
Paul is saying that those things that you think are no big deal, might be a big deal to someone else.
If you think that having a drink now and then is alright, but someone else believes that it is wrong, or maybe they are recovering from a problem brought on by alcohol, don't drink in front of them.
I see this a lot in college, some people can handle going certain places and parties, where others go to those same places and parties and get messed up, they fall to that temptation.
Many times we get so caught up in our strengths, that we think others can handle the same things we can. All it takes is one time for the sides to be reversed, and we quickly realize how that is not the case.
Don't lead others into temptation, even if it may not be a problem for you.
If you struggle with some form of sin, and have ever been brought into a situation by a friend where that sin is just pulling you in while your friend seems not to be affected, you know how horrible that can be.
You feel weak and confused. You think, "What's wrong with him, how come he doesn't struggle with this?" Or you think, "What's wrong with me, how come I am not strong enough to handle this?"
It is better to run from temptation than to try and be "brave" and stand up to it. Don't make it easier for you to fall. And don't make it easier for your friends to fall.
I know a lot of Christians who go to parties, get wasted, and regret it. When I ask them about it, they say, "Someone's got to be a Christian at those parties." And I want to say, "Not you!" If you struggle with something, don't put yourself in that position under the guise of being a light in a dark situation. Run from that temptation! Let someone else be a Christian at that party, someone that doesn't struggle with parties as much as you.
Same goes for bringing a Christian friend to those parties. Maybe you can handle it, but they can't, so don't bring them.
Paul continues to say, "And when you sin against other believers by encouraging them to do something they believe is wrong, you are sinning against Christ." - 1 Corinthians 8:12
Be sensitive to what others are struggling with and don't lead them like a sheep to the slaughter. Stay away from those temptations for them. Be strong for them, but understand their weakness, because you have your weaknesses too.
If they feel weird about doing something, eating something, drinking something, watching something, or listening to something that you don't have a problem with, don't pressure them to do it.
If you are forcing someone to go against their conscience, you are going against Christ.
"When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some." -1 Corinthians 9:22
Understanding someone's weaknesses, and struggles, and seeing what they see, and helping them through those problems, will grow you closer together. It will make your relationship with them stronger. And through relationship, people come to Christ.
It is very easy to lose sight of the fact that some things are not a problem for you, but are HUGE obstacles for others.
Everyone remembers having a bad math teacher in middle school or high school. One that would put a problem up on the board, look at it for a minute, come up with the answer in their head, and write it down. Obviously, you couldn't do the same, and couldn't figure out how the teacher solved the problem. Then, they would give you an F when you couldn't figure out the same problem on the test. You would get mad at the teacher for not explaining the process, they would get mad at you for not grasping it.
Your teacher didn't understand that they were strong in an area, that you were weak in. They didn't realize learning that theory came much easier to them than you.
When we fail to realize that some things are harder or easier for others, we can end up labeling that person, or worse, hurting that person because of our lack of understanding.
Paul talks about this in 1 Corinthians:
"But you must be careful so that your freedom does not cause others with a weaker conscience to stumble." - 1 Corinthians 8:9
Paul is saying that those things that you think are no big deal, might be a big deal to someone else.
If you think that having a drink now and then is alright, but someone else believes that it is wrong, or maybe they are recovering from a problem brought on by alcohol, don't drink in front of them.
I see this a lot in college, some people can handle going certain places and parties, where others go to those same places and parties and get messed up, they fall to that temptation.
Many times we get so caught up in our strengths, that we think others can handle the same things we can. All it takes is one time for the sides to be reversed, and we quickly realize how that is not the case.
Don't lead others into temptation, even if it may not be a problem for you.
If you struggle with some form of sin, and have ever been brought into a situation by a friend where that sin is just pulling you in while your friend seems not to be affected, you know how horrible that can be.
You feel weak and confused. You think, "What's wrong with him, how come he doesn't struggle with this?" Or you think, "What's wrong with me, how come I am not strong enough to handle this?"
It is better to run from temptation than to try and be "brave" and stand up to it. Don't make it easier for you to fall. And don't make it easier for your friends to fall.
I know a lot of Christians who go to parties, get wasted, and regret it. When I ask them about it, they say, "Someone's got to be a Christian at those parties." And I want to say, "Not you!" If you struggle with something, don't put yourself in that position under the guise of being a light in a dark situation. Run from that temptation! Let someone else be a Christian at that party, someone that doesn't struggle with parties as much as you.
Same goes for bringing a Christian friend to those parties. Maybe you can handle it, but they can't, so don't bring them.
Paul continues to say, "And when you sin against other believers by encouraging them to do something they believe is wrong, you are sinning against Christ." - 1 Corinthians 8:12
Be sensitive to what others are struggling with and don't lead them like a sheep to the slaughter. Stay away from those temptations for them. Be strong for them, but understand their weakness, because you have your weaknesses too.
If they feel weird about doing something, eating something, drinking something, watching something, or listening to something that you don't have a problem with, don't pressure them to do it.
If you are forcing someone to go against their conscience, you are going against Christ.
"When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some." -1 Corinthians 9:22
Understanding someone's weaknesses, and struggles, and seeing what they see, and helping them through those problems, will grow you closer together. It will make your relationship with them stronger. And through relationship, people come to Christ.
Sinners Like Us
"1 You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things. 2 And we know that God, in his justice, will punish anyone who does such things. 3 Since you judge others for doing these things, why do you think you can avoid God’s judgment when you do the same things? 4 Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?" -Romans 2:1-4 (NLT)
If you read Romans 1 you see Paul discuss some sins that people had been doing. He lists their shameful acts. He says they were doing every sort of "wickedness." Going on about how it is wrong. When you're reading it, it is easy to start thinking that you are better than them, and condemn these wicked people in your mind for their transgressions. It is like Paul knows what you are thinking and at the beginning of Romans 2 says this. He basically flips it on you.
I focus so much time and effort into improving myself, trying to live up to God's standards, follow the Bible's example, etc. That when I see other people who genuinely don't care about what the Bible says I have a natural response to look down on them. I can easily think of myself as better than them, since at least I'm not committing those sins.
But I'm not better than them. And neither are you. We all sin. The wages of sin is death, we are all guilty of sin. The standard Jesus set was perfection and we all fall short of that. Whether we fall short of it by an inch or a mile doesn't matter, we are all in the same boat: sinners in need of a savior. Through accepting Christ's sacrifice, we are forgiven by God. We must ingrain it in our heads that we earned nothing. God owed us nothing. It is through God's grace that we are saved.
On paper, I know it is easy to agree with that, yet how quickly we forget that we have done nothing to earn God's love, when we see someone doing something we know is wrong. We immediately think of how we wouldn't do that, how we're better than that. We're NOT.
Think of yourself. How you used to be, when you were in their shoes. When you knew no better. What did you need at that moment, condemnation or love? We are all sinners, we have all been there. Be careful not to get too full of yourself just because you found Jesus. He has been there the whole time, He was waiting for you, just like He is waiting for them now.
Remember, God loves them just as much as He loves us. There is nothing we can do to make God love us more or less. He already loves us unconditionally and more than we can imagine. This scripture talks of God's kindness with us, He is patient with us when we sin.
We must remember that if God is patient with us, we must be patient with others. Do not judge them, do not look down on someone, do not condemn someone if you think they are doing wrong. See them as Christ would see them, with compassion.
We love Him because He first loved us.
So we have to love on others, no matter how close or far away they are from God. You're not better than anyone just because you're a Christian. God loves them just as much as He loves us. So love them, too.
If you read Romans 1 you see Paul discuss some sins that people had been doing. He lists their shameful acts. He says they were doing every sort of "wickedness." Going on about how it is wrong. When you're reading it, it is easy to start thinking that you are better than them, and condemn these wicked people in your mind for their transgressions. It is like Paul knows what you are thinking and at the beginning of Romans 2 says this. He basically flips it on you.
I focus so much time and effort into improving myself, trying to live up to God's standards, follow the Bible's example, etc. That when I see other people who genuinely don't care about what the Bible says I have a natural response to look down on them. I can easily think of myself as better than them, since at least I'm not committing those sins.
But I'm not better than them. And neither are you. We all sin. The wages of sin is death, we are all guilty of sin. The standard Jesus set was perfection and we all fall short of that. Whether we fall short of it by an inch or a mile doesn't matter, we are all in the same boat: sinners in need of a savior. Through accepting Christ's sacrifice, we are forgiven by God. We must ingrain it in our heads that we earned nothing. God owed us nothing. It is through God's grace that we are saved.
On paper, I know it is easy to agree with that, yet how quickly we forget that we have done nothing to earn God's love, when we see someone doing something we know is wrong. We immediately think of how we wouldn't do that, how we're better than that. We're NOT.
Think of yourself. How you used to be, when you were in their shoes. When you knew no better. What did you need at that moment, condemnation or love? We are all sinners, we have all been there. Be careful not to get too full of yourself just because you found Jesus. He has been there the whole time, He was waiting for you, just like He is waiting for them now.
Remember, God loves them just as much as He loves us. There is nothing we can do to make God love us more or less. He already loves us unconditionally and more than we can imagine. This scripture talks of God's kindness with us, He is patient with us when we sin.
We must remember that if God is patient with us, we must be patient with others. Do not judge them, do not look down on someone, do not condemn someone if you think they are doing wrong. See them as Christ would see them, with compassion.
We love Him because He first loved us.
So we have to love on others, no matter how close or far away they are from God. You're not better than anyone just because you're a Christian. God loves them just as much as He loves us. So love them, too.
The Impact of the Example of Forgiveness
Tonight, I was reading through 1 John mostly by chance. The one theme that really caught my heart today, and normally does catch my heart when reading this book, is that true Christians love their brothers and sisters in the faith.
"If anyone claims, 'I am living in the light,' but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is still living in darkness." 1 John 2:9 NLT
That just always talks about grudges to me. A few years ago, I really struggled with grudges. I had a lot of friends, didn't have any enemies (which is no small feat in high school.) But I had a hard time forgiving the few people that hurt me.
I held it in, and when I thought about what they did or how they treated me, it made me angry. I tried to keep it in, so rarely would I confront those people about their supposed wrongs. But it did seep out. Those people could tell something was different between us, which made it worse, we excluded each other from things and generally disintegrated our friendships.
In one particular occasion, it got to the point that I didn't even know what one person had done to me. Why we were fighting, and why I was so mad at them and waiting for an apology. Eventually, God convicted me that I was holding these grudges. One of the best messages I have heard, from various sources is that forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you.
Forgiveness is not for that person that hurt you. You can hold a grudge, it will tear you apart, but that person will keep on living life. Waiting for them to say "I'm sorry" could be a long long time. If that anger festers in your heart, it will just burn you, not the other person.
So let go of it. Forgive that person. Let go of the anger. Let go of the thought of revenge. Let go of the thought that that person owes you something. Let go, move on. Lift that weight off of yourself. Go to God, ask for strength.
Eventually, I was able to do just that. Forgive those people of what they did to me. It took some time, and those relationships aren't the same as they were before, but I have been able to re forge those friendships and make matters a lot better between myself and these people. One instance, I even apologized to the other person for holding a grudge against them. They were shocked, but it went a long way to restoring our friendship. I tell you what, it is a lot better on the other side, and in the years since, my heart feels lighter.
I think I have blogged about that in the past, so what I really wanted to share was in verse 10.
"Anyone who loves another brother or sister is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble." 1 John 2:10 NLT
God is saying that loving others is what shows that you are close to Him. More than that, your grudges aren't between just you and the person who hurt you, you are an example for other believers.
If you refuse to forgive someone, that can cause others to stumble. They may hold grudges too. Think of the impact it would cause, if a chain of people rejected forgiveness. There would be anger and bitterness in everyone's heart. There would be certain people you couldn't bring up around other people, there would be lives changed for the worse.
However, if you set an example and forgive those who have hurt you, who have wronged you, it may convince others to do the same. Those people will then experience the joy that comes from forgiveness and salvaged relationships.
We owe each other forgiveness. We have committed far greater trespasses against God than anyone has against us, yet God forgave us. Who are we to say that we can't forgive?
It is because of forgiveness that we are saved. It is because of forgiveness that we can live in love, joy, and relationship with God.
Forgiveness is central to who we are as people. It is a big idea, with big implications.
If we forgive each other, lives will be changed in the same way that God's forgiveness towards us has already changed our lives.
"If anyone claims, 'I am living in the light,' but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is still living in darkness." 1 John 2:9 NLT
That just always talks about grudges to me. A few years ago, I really struggled with grudges. I had a lot of friends, didn't have any enemies (which is no small feat in high school.) But I had a hard time forgiving the few people that hurt me.
I held it in, and when I thought about what they did or how they treated me, it made me angry. I tried to keep it in, so rarely would I confront those people about their supposed wrongs. But it did seep out. Those people could tell something was different between us, which made it worse, we excluded each other from things and generally disintegrated our friendships.
In one particular occasion, it got to the point that I didn't even know what one person had done to me. Why we were fighting, and why I was so mad at them and waiting for an apology. Eventually, God convicted me that I was holding these grudges. One of the best messages I have heard, from various sources is that forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you.
Forgiveness is not for that person that hurt you. You can hold a grudge, it will tear you apart, but that person will keep on living life. Waiting for them to say "I'm sorry" could be a long long time. If that anger festers in your heart, it will just burn you, not the other person.
So let go of it. Forgive that person. Let go of the anger. Let go of the thought of revenge. Let go of the thought that that person owes you something. Let go, move on. Lift that weight off of yourself. Go to God, ask for strength.
Eventually, I was able to do just that. Forgive those people of what they did to me. It took some time, and those relationships aren't the same as they were before, but I have been able to re forge those friendships and make matters a lot better between myself and these people. One instance, I even apologized to the other person for holding a grudge against them. They were shocked, but it went a long way to restoring our friendship. I tell you what, it is a lot better on the other side, and in the years since, my heart feels lighter.
I think I have blogged about that in the past, so what I really wanted to share was in verse 10.
"Anyone who loves another brother or sister is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble." 1 John 2:10 NLT
God is saying that loving others is what shows that you are close to Him. More than that, your grudges aren't between just you and the person who hurt you, you are an example for other believers.
If you refuse to forgive someone, that can cause others to stumble. They may hold grudges too. Think of the impact it would cause, if a chain of people rejected forgiveness. There would be anger and bitterness in everyone's heart. There would be certain people you couldn't bring up around other people, there would be lives changed for the worse.
However, if you set an example and forgive those who have hurt you, who have wronged you, it may convince others to do the same. Those people will then experience the joy that comes from forgiveness and salvaged relationships.
We owe each other forgiveness. We have committed far greater trespasses against God than anyone has against us, yet God forgave us. Who are we to say that we can't forgive?
It is because of forgiveness that we are saved. It is because of forgiveness that we can live in love, joy, and relationship with God.
Forgiveness is central to who we are as people. It is a big idea, with big implications.
If we forgive each other, lives will be changed in the same way that God's forgiveness towards us has already changed our lives.
